HumorShack - Lawyer Joke #68 [Previous Joke] [Next Joke] Signs That You Might Need A Different Lawyer * During the trial, you catch him playing his Gameboy.  * Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack Daniel's to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot.  * He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger.  * He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.  * He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said ..."  * He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v. Mothra.  * Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?"  * Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.  * The sign in front of his law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM."  * Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."  * He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs."  * Opening argument in which he called the prosecutor a "Doo-Doo Head" could hurt your case.  * Tries to cheer you up by saying how great you look in orange.  * Giggles hysterically at the mere mention of the Penal Code.  * Keeps trying to call a witness named "Johnny, the Trouser Troll."  * The only question he can come up with during cross-examination is, "Isn't it true that you're a lying bastard?"  * Constantly raising objections to the "vibes" he's getting from the jury.  * Every time the judge sustains one of his objections, he screams, "Yahtzee!"  * Instead of saying, "Your honor, I object," he now just rolls his eyes and says, "Whatever."  * Claims staring at your cleavage is a necessary part of the "discovery" processes.  * Offers to waive his usual fees in exchange for your panties.  * You met him in prison.  * During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.  * He tells you that his last good case was a Budweiser.  * When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.  * He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."  * He tells you that he's never told a lie.  * He asks a hostile witness to "pull my finger."  * A prison guard is shaving your head.  [Previous Joke] [Next Joke] Send your favorite jokes to HumorShack

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